I was on a crazy long hibernation phase the past few months, it was the longest break I’ve ever taken. That was my orange phase. It was great and I’m here to tell you what you can learn from a strong orange presence in your life and if orange is knocking your door – open it.
Since my challenging 2014, I’ve been running after everything, I was surviving and I was coping but I was completely numb. My feelings were locked up; I would have bursts from time to time but I was not present with myself. One day I decided to just STOP and I always imagined that at the moment orange was in the background it would be clapping and doing it’s joy dance.
I decided to shutdown, stop being ambitious, entrepreneurial and whatever the word success meant to me as I was growing up. No more running, just stop Walaa. I needed to get in touch with my orange.
When orange shows up in our lives it’s a calling for getting in touch with feelings, with your inner feminine side, your maternal relationship and finding your strength and joy with being in touch with your feelings. It’s a great color to let go of anger, resentment and that pain you feel in your lower abdomen. It is also a strong calling from the feminine energy which in the physical life represents the maternal relationship. For many this relationship is quite the challenge, and looking at your maternal relationship (with your mother) is one of the toughest and greatest things to do. You will have to see the repetitive patterns, and the ideas that are not yours.
Like many I struggle with my maternal link, it’s been an interesting pattern from the moment I was born; my mother and I were blessed with polar opposite personalities that neither of us has seen as a gift but a curse until my orange phase. I did what I had to do to heal this line of energy.
I sat with orange and discussed my feelings, faced what I adored about my mother and what I felt were the most toxic aspects of her. I let myself come to terms with it until I was able to let go of my expectations of her and let myself be my own stability and my own soul. This was such a great time for me, cause I meditated for me, I wrote for myself, I went to work and listened to myself until I resigned cause I deserve better (thats coming up in another blog post I promise) and I listened to me, all of me.
I emerged with a bigger respect for my inner desires, feelings and my inner wisdom. I came back and found doors opening for me that I could never have imagined. Here is what I want you to know about orange showing up in your life:
1. The Maternal must always heal.
You can heal the maternal energy by letting yourself feel it, let go of the contract that you made with your mother, whatever expectations you have of her and how she should be, let go of that for her sake and yours. We are all human. Also notice the beliefs that she projected on you, see how these beliefs are showing up in your life and learn from them. One that showed up for me is â€œthat people are all bad and they will step on you as soon as they see a chanceâ€ or â€œNo one is trust worthy, everyone leaves you in the endâ€.
2. Feelings are not a bad thing, they have a strong message.
My emotions were so strong yet so bottled up. They scared me and I didn’t want people to see me as this emotional little girl that I completely locked up but when I listened to her she told me I missed having the security of a mother and that I was running after the wrong things. I forgot my purpose and that I deserve better and I must give myself that. It’s great what daily color journaling can do for you.
3. Joy is not scary either
We are always afraid to express happiness or joy because we think it’s temporary. We are always switched onto survival mode that we are too scared of this unknown happiness feeling. Next time something good comes along, force yourself to celebrate it, enjoy it and really be with it without expectations. This will open beautiful doors for you, the universe opens up to us when we are happy, it’ll multiply it.
4. Pay attention to your energy levels – they are right.
When you wakeup every morning completely dreading where you are going to, STOP this place is not good for you, it’s sucking the life out of you. No matter what people or your mind tells you about the obstacles and CAN’Ts ask yourself what colors are your solutions. There is always a solution and the universe will support your happy colors if you let it.
5. There is no shame in having desires and giving them colors too.
We grow up thinking having desires is selfish and desire leads us to sin. We feel guilty when we want something. Big or small it makes us guilty. During my hibernation I found that my desire for freedom was green and it lead me to my happiness.Â When I was free of bosses and people telling me what I should do, and that I am too emotional for work, I blossom and I the happiest I’ve ever been and guess what? Much more productive. So get in touch with that desire that makes you smile give it a color and let that color be your guide. When you’re about to make a decision – ask yourself – what color represents your desire? I swear it works and I love it.
My orange phase taught me a lot and I hope it can shine some colorful light on your life adding more sparkle.
Love and Color,