Growing up watching mean girls, then gossip girl I took in the belief that being mean, manipulative and scheming was the way to be Queen B. I felt the only way people will respect and love me is by giving them the stink eye. I remember once in college a girl told me “Walaa you are just too polite and too nice, thats why things don’t work for you. Give them the stink eye and you will see.”
One of the first things I learned in my journey is to be kind was to watch my words and automated mean comments towards everyone that walked by. My beautiful friend and mentor David used to shhhhh me whenever I said something. This made me think and look at my thinking process.
“I started diving deep within and slowly I started to realize that my unkindness towards people was just a reflection of how I was treating myself on the inside”
I started diving deep within and slowly I started to realize that my unkindness towards people was just a reflection of how I was treating myself on the inside, and I was SO MEAN to myself. I would say one wrong word and spend years punishing myself for it. When Pink started popping left and right in my life, asking me to be kind to me thats when the door to my freedom opened.
Being Drawn to pink taught me that kindness starts with compassion, and releasing self judgement by giving ourselves the space to correct mistakes rather than punishing ourselves for them. I started bringing in rose pink flowers into my space as a reminder and worked through different meditations until I found that infinite well of kindness within.
2. Pastel yellow
Being kind in a world that sees it as a weakness takes courage. Standing up for kindness and not feeling the need to put up the walls of hatred, mean words and coldness is a challenge at first. As I was teaching myself to stay open and kind no matter what the trigger took a lot of yellow wardrobe and visualization. Yellow taught me that strength is kind and now I live kindness strongly.
3. Pastel Green
Oh my! In struggled with this color. It asked me to be gentle and believe in the organic movement of life vs straight lines and fighting from a victim place. Green when it showed up asked me to be gentle, as I learn to be kind and be loving towards myself no matter what is going on. Growth is organic not linear. Pastel green came into my life opened my heart and asked me to surrender.